Crunch lunch: Chewton Glen

By Jonathan Goodall Published: 8:30AM GMT 19 Feb 2010

Chewton Glen Hotel Photo: ROBERT SHADBOLT

Where? New Milton, Hampshire (01425 275341; chewtonglen.com).

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Lunch set menu £19.50 for two courses; £24.50 for three (except Sundays).

Are they pleased to see you?

Beaming. With a staff-to-guest ratio of three to one, Chewton Glen wrote the service manual.

Is the restaurant attractive?

It"s a canopied conservatory with fairy-light chandeliers, classical urns and tiny olive trees. In the summer you can eat outside.

Are the tables widely spaced?

Swarms of staff can buzz between fragrant diners like friendly bees, without fear of collision.

Did you like the cooking?

Roasted beetroot with aged balsamic and fourme d"ambert blue cheese was earthy and piquant; a duo of John Dory and brill was dynamic; and pecan and maple syrup parfait with honey-roasted figs was as good as it sounds.

Would a vegetarian starve?

The 27 chefs are "happy to create bespoke dishes to suit your mood".

Who else goes there?

Hollywood A-listers, assorted Spice Girls, City survivors and couples who "have been coming here for 40 years".

Are the loos a bit on the primitive side?

It"s a five-star flush. The toilet-paper ends are folded into "V"s.

Would you come again?

Yes, but I would expect to be borne into the premises on a golden litter.

crunchlunch@telegraph.co.uk T-rating 9/10

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